Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
