i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
