The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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