Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
