I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
