and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
