yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Randomize
