Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
