Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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