i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You did what with his pubic hair?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
