I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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