We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
