maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
