Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
