I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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