I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
