The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
