so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
