The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
