About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
