I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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