On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
