Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
