she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize