Porn is love you can see.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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