We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
