i just google imaged poop.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
