You work out of a Hotel?
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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