remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
