Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize