Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
