Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
When did angry sex become our thing?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
