I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Randomize
