We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
