He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish you could order shots online.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
