Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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