she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
