these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
tell me about the eggs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
