great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
