I just made out with a guy for $7.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
