I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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