just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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