I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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