Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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