Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
