remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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