i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
