Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
