Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
