Im at strip club and am horny
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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