I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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