Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
whose ass print is on the piano?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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