So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
