was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
