yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
