remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
