He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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