i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
